Confession time: by nature I’m a little shy (and a lot introverted), so when I finally resolved to stop doubting and start dating, I naturally turned to a place where I’ve always felt comfortable: the book store.
And if the preponderance of dating books for guys is any indication, I’m not the only one who has had that instinct.
Book stores like Amazon and Barnes and Noble are flooded with dating books for men who want to master every aspect of romance, from how to send an effective text to how to have a successful marriage.
As with so many other aspects of life, reading informative, insightful and well written books about dating and relationships made me much more confident in my romantic prowess, which in turn made me a better date, partner and – dare I say it – man.
But not all dating books for guys are created equal. While some offer well founded research and insightful anecdotes, a lot of them unfortunately peddle unfounded nonsense and, in some cases, misogynistic bullshit.
I can’t claim to have read every dating book under the sun, but I can (and do!) claim to have gotten pretty good at sniffing out the good books from the bad. So to help save you from having to sift through hundreds of shitty titles yourself, I’ve scoured Amazon to find the mostly highly rated and best dating books for guys, according to thousands of crowd-sourced reviews.
Scroll down to discover 21 dating books for men who want to build both competence and confidence in the realm of romance.
The Best Dating Books for Men
These Are the Best Dating Books for Guys Who Genuinely Want to Improve
The Man’s Guide to Women
Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and…
The Game
Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
4 Stars on Amazon
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author and journalist, spent two years living among them…
The Truth
Sex, Love, Commitment, and the Puzzle of the Male Mind
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In The Truth, Neil Strauss takes on his greatest challenge yet: Relationships. And in this wild and highly entertaining ride, he explores the questions that men and women are asking themselves every day: Is it natural to be faithful to one person for life?
Do alternatives to monogamy lead to better relationships…?
Stop Doubting, Start Dating
A Shy Guy’s Guide To Building Confidence, Meeting Women, and (Finally!) Getting the Girl
5 Stars on Amazon
(Shameless plug alert!!)
Full disclosure: as the author of this particular book, I am extremely biased. But I wouldn’t have written it if I didn’t think it could help. (And my wife frequently tells me—and anyone else who will listen—that I’m absolutely a subject matter expert.)
I wrote Stop Doubting, Start Dating to help other shy, introverted and introspective guys like me push past their fears, build social and romantic confidence, and learn how to not just put themselves out there, but attract women to them.
As you can imagine, I highly recommend it. (As does my wife.)
What Women Want In A Man
How to Become the Alpha Male Women Respect, Desire, and Want to Submit To
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In order to attract and more importantly, KEEP a good woman in your life you must become the kind of man that she simply cannot live without. This is your only job as a man when it comes to dating and…
The Art of Seduction
An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene returns with a new instruction on the most subtle, elusive, and effective form of power, because seduction isn’t really about sex. It’s about manipulating other people’s greatest weakness: their desire for…
Conversation Casanova
How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro
4.5 Stars on Amazon
What if you could effortlessly strike up a conversation with any women, at any time, in any environment? What if you knew exactly how to keep the conversation going (so you never ran out of things to say)? What if you could command women’s attention and instantly…
What to Talk to Girls About
94 Fun, Flirty, Insightful & Interesting Things to Talk About With a Girl
(Second shameless plug alert!!)
Are you sick of feeling your heart start pounding, your pulse start racing and your brow start sweating as you struggle to come up with things to talk to a girl about?
Do you ever wish you had a checklist of fun, flirty, interesting and engaging topics that you could easily bring up when talking to women?
Have you ever struggled to figure out how to talk to a girl for the first time, what to talk about with a girl you like, or how to make the conversation (and yourself) seem compelling?
In my second book on dating, I’ve laid out a roadmap for answering all of these questions, to help you overcome the obstacles that keep you from being a charismatic conversationalist.
The Dating Playbook For Men
A Proven 7 Step System To Go From Single To The Woman Of Your Dreams
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Unlike the other “dating advice” books on the market, the Dating Playbook For Men isn’t packed with fluff and filler content that leaves you even more confused before you picked up the book.No games. No rah rah motivation. No weird seduction tactics. It’s just raw, actionable content designed to…
How to Text a Girl
4.5 Stars on Amazon
This easy-to-use, step-by-step guide shows you how to text a girl, what to text, and when to text it to her. If you’re tired of “spin your wheels” texting advice, buy this book. Its approach draws from 18 cutting edge scientific studies on texting…
Mate
Become the Man Women Want
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married
Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
5 Stars on Amazon
Though many young people can avoid early pregnancy and STDs, most cannot dodge the depression and feelings of isolation that characterize this modern generation. Studies show a dramatic rise in self-reported loneliness among the young. How can a young man navigate such troubled waters?
Models
Attract Women Through Honesty
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Models is the first men’s dating book ever written on seduction as a purely emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them, a process of self-expression rather than…
How To Be A 3% Man
Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams
4.5 Stars on Amazon
This book teaches you the hidden secrets to completely understand women. How you can meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships! How to get women to pursue you and…
Deeper Dating
How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In Deeper Dating, psychotherapist Ken Page offers a new path to finding meaningful and lasting relationships. Learn how to attract people who love you for who you really are, become more self-assured and emotionally available, and lose your taste for…
Wired for Dating
How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
4 Stars on Amazon
In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to…
Relationship Goals
How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
5 Stars on Amazon
A candid, inspiring guide to finding lasting love and sustaining a healthy relationship by getting real about your goals—based on the viral, multi-million-view sermon series about dating, marriage, and sex
Atomic Attraction
The Psychology of Attraction
4.5 Stars on Amazon
If you want to be a man that 80% of women desire, this book is your key. Based on over 120 scientific studies, this book is the ultimate guide to creating and maintaining attraction with women.
Elite Dating Secrets
How The Top 1% of Men Meets, Attracts, and Dates Beautiful Women
This is NOT Just Another Pickup Artist Book… This is A Guide That Will Teach You How to Become an Alpha Male, So That You NATURALLY Attract Women (Without Having to Change Who You Are, Act Like A Tool or Become A Giant Douchebag)
Dating After The Red Pill
Learn the fundamental principles of becoming a true alpha male and discover the hidden secrets to finally understand women, what they want, and how to give it to them.
This book will open your eyes and make you more adaptable to many situations as you play the dating game. It will offer you the most practical knowledge and strategies on how to understand women’s actions, behaviors, needs, and wants.
Chase
The Simple Step-by-Step Formula For Making Woman Obsess Over You
What If You Could Attract The Woman of Your Dreams Effortlessly in Less Than 27 days, NO MATTER How Unattractive or Socially Awkward You Are! You will discover exactly how to attract the most Jaw dropping women but you must agree to this one simple condition…
Bonus!
The Best Dating Courses for Guys
As I mentioned above, when I finally decided to seek some dating help, I turned to books because a) I’m a nerd and b) that’s what I was used to doing.
But that was years ago, and since then a new medium has popped up that’s proven itself to be at least as effective – and in some cases, maybe more effective – at teaching new skills:
Online courses.
Most online dating courses combine both text lessons, like you’d get in books, with video lessons, which you obviously can’t.
That’s great because seeing and hearing a real person explain and even execute the advice being offered helps you bridge the gap between theory and practice, and bring the advice into the real world.
There’s no shortage of dating “gurus” out there offering online courses, but they can be expensive, and it’s often hard to tell how valuable they are before you buy. That’s why I like Udemy, which is basically the Amazon of online courses.
Like Amazon, it uses crowd-sourced user reviews to rate each of the courses it offers, allowing you to get a better sense of whether or not each course delivers on its promise.
Here are the a few of the highest-rated courses on Udemy that offer dating advice for guys:
WANTED! – Dating for Men simplified
4.9 Stars on Udemy
“Tired of Loneliness? – Uncover the simple 10-step system I used to boost my self-confidence and meet my Dream Woman”
The Ultimate Guide to Love, Dating & Relationships
4.4 Stars on Udemy
“Discover the secrets, principles and strategies that allow people to build healthy, happy and rewarding relationships.”
Dating and Relationship Masterclass
4.6 Stars on Udemy
“Become the Irresistible Man Every Woman Desires”
How to Attract Amazing Women and Form Intimate Relationships
4.6 Stars on Udemy
“Learn how to navigate the world of women and dating with confidence and integrity.”
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Further Reading ↓
Dating Advice From Irreverent Gent:
- 9 Fundamental First Date Tips for Guys
- 101 Engaging & Insightful Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
- 5 Proven Ways to Take Awesome Profile Pics
- eharmony vs. Match – How to Choose the One That’s Right for You
- The Absolute Best Questions to Ask a Girl
Dating Book Recos from Around the Web:
- Lifestyle-Arts – 10 Must-Read Dating Books for Men
- Vocal Media – Best Dating Books for Guys
- The Power Moves – 10 Best Dating Books for Guys
Hi Dave. I want to let you know that after reading this post, I took your advice in two ways: I bought “conversation casanova’ and I signed up for match. And.. it worked. I used pretty much the same photos and info on match that I was using on tinder, but I got more responses and have already been on a few dates. And the tips I got from the book made me feel more confident on the dates. So thanks for the advice and keep up the good work.
– Rob
Awesome Rob, congrats! Glad to hear you’re feeling more confident and having more luck out there. It’s crazy how effective that combination of a smarter strategy and more conversational confidence can be. Really happy for you man.