Confession time: by nature I’m a little shy (and a lot introverted), so when I finally resolved to stop doubting and start dating, I naturally turned to a place where I’ve always felt comfortable: the book store.
And if the preponderance of dating books for guys is any indication, I’m not the only one who has had that instinct. Book stores like Amazon and Barnes and Noble are flooded with dating books for men who want to master every aspect of romance, from how to send an effective text to how to have a successful marriage.
As with so many other aspects of life, reading informative, insightful and well written books about dating and relationships made me much more confident in my romantic prowess, which in turn made me a better date, partner and – dare I say it – man.
But not all dating books for guys are created equal. While some offer well founded research and insightful anecdotes, a lot of them unfortunately peddle unfounded nonsense and, in some cases, misogynistic bullshit.
I can’t claim to have read every dating book under the sun, but I can (and do!) claim to have gotten pretty good at sniffing out the good books from the bad. So to help save you from having to sift through hundreds of shitty titles yourself, I’ve scoured Amazon to find the mostly highly rated and best dating books for guys, according to thousands of crowd-sourced reviews.
Scroll down to discover 14 dating books for men who want to build both competence and confidence in the realm of romance.
The Best Dating Books for Men
These Are the Best Dating Books for Guys Who Genuinely Want to Improve
The Man’s Guide to Women
Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and…
The Game
Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
4 Stars on Amazon
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author and journalist, spent two years living among them…
The Truth
Sex, Love, Commitment, and the Puzzle of the Male Mind
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In The Truth, Neil Strauss takes on his greatest challenge yet: Relationships. And in this wild and highly entertaining ride, he explores the questions that men and women are asking themselves every day: Is it natural to be faithful to one person for life?
Do alternatives to monogamy lead to better relationships…?
What Women Want In A Man
How to Become the Alpha Male Women Respect, Desire, and Want to Submit To
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In order to attract and more importantly, KEEP a good woman in your life you must become the kind of man that she simply cannot live without. This is your only job as a man when it comes to dating and…
The Art of Seduction
An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene returns with a new instruction on the most subtle, elusive, and effective form of power, because seduction isn’t really about sex. It’s about manipulating other people’s greatest weakness: their desire for…
Conversation Casanova
How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro
4.5 Stars on Amazon
What if you could effortlessly strike up a conversation with any women, at any time, in any environment? What if you knew exactly how to keep the conversation going (so you never ran out of things to say)? What if you could command women’s attention and instantly…
The Dating Playbook For Men
A Proven 7 Step System To Go From Single To The Woman Of Your Dreams
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Unlike the other “dating advice” books on the market, the Dating Playbook For Men isn’t packed with fluff and filler content that leaves you even more confused before you picked up the book.No games. No rah rah motivation. No weird seduction tactics. It’s just raw, actionable content designed to…
How to Text a Girl
4.5 Stars on Amazon
This easy-to-use, step-by-step guide shows you how to text a girl, what to text, and when to text it to her. If you’re tired of “spin your wheels” texting advice, buy this book. Its approach draws from 18 cutting edge scientific studies on texting…
Mate
Become the Man Women Want
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married
Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
5 Stars on Amazon
Though many young people can avoid early pregnancy and STDs, most cannot dodge the depression and feelings of isolation that characterize this modern generation. Studies show a dramatic rise in self-reported loneliness among the young. How can a young man navigate such troubled waters?
Models
Attract Women Through Honesty
4.5 Stars on Amazon
Models is the first men’s dating book ever written on seduction as a purely emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them, a process of self-expression rather than…
How To Be A 3% Man
Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams
4.5 Stars on Amazon
This book teaches you the hidden secrets to completely understand women. How you can meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships! How to get women to pursue you and…
Deeper Dating
How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
4.5 Stars on Amazon
In Deeper Dating, psychotherapist Ken Page offers a new path to finding meaningful and lasting relationships. Learn how to attract people who love you for who you really are, become more self-assured and emotionally available, and lose your taste for…
Wired for Dating
How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
4 Stars on Amazon
In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to…
Bonus!
The Best Dating Sites for Guys
The books listed above can show you how to talk to women more confidently and become the type of man who attracts women with ease.
But once you learn some techniques, tips and strategies that will make you better at dating, the next step is to find women who you can, you know… date!
Why Free Dating Apps Don’t Work
And that’s where online dating sites come in. While free dating apps have exploded onto the scene and amassed millions of users over the past few years, let me let you in on a little secret: free dating apps actually aren’t the best place methods for meeting women.
Why?
For a lot of reasons, but the main one is this: the competition is far too fierce.
There are millions of guys on free online dating apps like Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, and even if you’re taking awesome profile photos and doing everything else right, it can be hard to stand out on those apps and get women’s attention—never mind getting them to message you back.
Why Pay Sites Pay Off For Guys
Paid apps like eHarmony and Match.com, on the other hand, are completely different. Women often switch to paid services when they get tired of being bombarded with inane messages on free apps (apparently there are only so many “Hey bae” or “Wat up?” messages a person can take).
When they get onto the paid apps, at first they’re relieved to no longer be getting bombarded with as many shitty messages from guys. But they quickly discover they have a second problem: the pool of guys who they could potentially match with is a lot smaller.
For women, this can be frustrating because they’ve already made the decision to join a paid dating platform, and there’s no such thing as a refund for not finding someone you like.
But for guys this represents a potentially huge opportunity: it means that paid sites like eHarmony and Match provide potentially huge pools where the supply of awesome eligible bachelors is low, but the demand from women is high.
So if you haven’t had much luck on free dating apps like Tinder and Hinge, or if you’re not sure whether or not signing up for a paid dating service is right for you, I highly suggest you give it a try.
The absolute worst case scenario is that you try it for a few months, it costs you a bit of money, but it doesn’t lead to much romantic (or—let’s just be honest—sexual) success. In which case, it’s exactly like dating in general.
But the best case scenario is that the more favorable supply/demand dynamics leads to more success than you’ve experienced on other apps or in real life. In which case, it will be well worth the investment.
Wrapping Up:
How to Set Yourself Up for Success
If you think the books listed in this post can provide you with some useful insight and strategies to level up your dating game, and you’ve had trouble meeting women through free apps or even in real life, then try signing up for eHarmony or Match.com.
There are no guarantees when it comes to love, sex and romance. But when you combine the favorable demographics of paid dating sites with the advice you’ll learn from the books listed above, you put yourself in the strongest possible position for success.
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Further Reading ↓
Dating Advice From Irreverent Gent:
Dating Book Recos from Around the Web:
- Lifestyle-Arts – 10 Must-Read Dating Books for Men
- Vocal Media – Best Dating Books for Guys
- The Power Moves – 10 Best Dating Books for Guys
As the founder of Irreverent Gent, Dave shares smart style advice that helps guys look sharp, and smart-ass jokes that make them wish he’d just stick to advice. When not blogging, he loves working out, obsessing over the MCU (#ILoveYou3000) and pretending to know about wine when his wife takes him somewhere fancy.