Confession time:
By nature I’m a little shy (and a lot introverted), so when I finally resolved to stop doubting and start dating, I naturally turned to a place where I’ve always felt comfortable: the book store.
And if the preponderance of dating books for guys is any indication, I’m not the only one who has had that instinct.
Book stores like Amazon and Barnes and Noble are flooded with dating books for men who want to master every aspect of romance, from how to send an effective text to how to have a successful marriage.
As with so many other aspects of life, reading informative, insightful and well written books about dating and relationships made me much more confident in my romantic prowess, which in turn made me a better date, partner and – dare I say it – man.
But not all dating books for guys are created equal. While some offer well founded research and insightful anecdotes, a lot of them unfortunately peddle unfounded nonsense and, in some cases, misogynistic bullshit.
I can’t claim to have read every dating book under the sun, but I can (and do!) claim to have gotten pretty good at sniffing out the good books from the bad.
So to help save you from having to sift through hundreds of shitty titles yourself, I’ve scoured Amazon to find the mostly highly rated and best dating books for guys, according to thousands of crowd-sourced reviews.
Scroll down to discover the best dating books for men who want to build both competence and confidence in the realm of romance.
The (Absolute) Best Dating Books for Men
These are the best dating books for guys who want to stop doubting and start dating. Speaking of which…
(Shameless Plug Alert!!)
Stop Doubting, Start Dating
A Shy Guy’s Guide To Building Confidence, Meeting Women, and (Finally!) Getting the Girl
Full disclosure: I couln’t resist starting this list with the dating guide that I wrote myself, because I’m really quite proud of it, and I think it can help a lot of guys.
(Plus, my wife – who I paired with on both eHarmony and Match.com – assures me that I’m absolutely a subject matter expert.)
I wrote Stop Doubting, Start Dating to help other shy, introverted and introspective guys like me become the best version of themselves.
The book is designed to help you push past your fears, build social and romantic confidence, and learn how to do two things that will dramatically improve your dating life:
- Put yourself out there with more confidence, and
- Attract women into your orbit
And while I’m obviously extremely biased, it’s been really gratifying to hear that I’m not the only one who’s happy with the book.
Over the past few years, I’ve heard a ton of great feedback from readers who have told me how much it’s done for them.
Top Review From Amazon:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A good friend to have
As a person who needs advice about dating, this book was a great help. It is motivational and gave me ideas that I did not even think of.
Of course, there is no magical system of dating, but this book is a great friend to have on your journey to meeting that special someone.
The Man’s Guide to Women
Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 1,098 Reviews
What Amazon Says:
Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships.
Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime.
What We Say:
With a PhD in clinical psychology and more than five decades of experience studying human nature and relationship dynamics, John Gottman – who’s been called “the Einstien of Love” – is one of the world’s foremost relationship experts.
(In fact, it’s probably not much of an exaggeration to say that he knows more about healthy relationships than anyone on the planet.)
He wrote his first book about relationships, Why Marriages Fail or Succeed, all the way back in 1994.
But for single guys who want to have more success on the dating scene, The Man’s Guide to Women is where to start.
While most so-called dating experts only focus on things like social skills and body language, Gottman goes much deeper.
He explores the psychology of human behavior, and provides scientific explanations of the way women think (and, perhaps more relevantly, how that often differs from men).
The result is a great book for any guy who not only wants to improve his dating skills and learn more about romantic relationships, but truly understand the fundamentals of female dynamics.
Promising Review:
This is a wonderful book! 40yrs of quality research makes this book very accurate and insightful!
Most questions men have about women are answered in this book. It is very well written; funny, well organized and intelligent.
– Evan
The Game
Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
Rating:
- 4.3 Stars on Amazon
- 4,979 Reviews
What Amazon Says:
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women.
This is not fiction. These men really exist. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author and journalist, spent two years living among them…
What We Say:
The book that first introduced the world to phrases like negging, AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) and the Mystery Method has spawned both a ton of imitators and its fair share of controversy since it first took the dating world by storm in the early 2000s.
But nearly 20 years after it was first published, this New York Times bestseller remains one of the best books for guys who need a little more confidence interacting with real people—especially when those people happen to be single women.
While researchers like Gottman take a scientific approach to understanding women, Strauss and the pickup artists he writes about take a (much) less clinical, but arguably more practical approach to the strategies of human mating.
In The Game, Strauss details how a pack of not-conventionally-attractive misfits spent a lot of time learning how to pick up women through trial and error, and chronicles his own journey from shy single guy to confident pickup artist.
Strauss himself now admits that the practical tips that the book recommends are manipulative, and geared more toward fulfilling your sexual desire than finding and nurturing a great relationship.
But to this day it’s still one of the top dating books because it helps guys understand that dating is a skill that anyone can develop, not an intimidating mountain that can never be climbed.
Promising Review:
Personally the book acted as a gateway for me, as I imagine many others, into a much needed self improvement period of my life.
I began to realize my self worth, gain confidence in myself and really go out their and make my dreams happen. To look inward for approval rather than bending overbackwards to gain the approval of others.
– Phoenix9
Conversation Casanova
How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro
Rating:
- 4.4 Stars on Amazon
- 1,052 Reviews
What Amazon Says:
What if you could effortlessly strike up a conversation with any women, at any time, in any environment?
What if you knew exactly how to keep the conversation going (so you never ran out of things to say)? What if you could command women’s attention and instantly connect with them? What if you could turn any conversation from boring to “sexual”?
That would all make your life a lot more fun, right?
What We Say:
Nowadays a lot of guys work out and dress pretty well (especially, I’d like to think, Irreverent Gent readers).
For them, what makes dating so difficult isn’t a total lack of confidence or a need to overhaul everything about themselves.
It’s learning how to talk to a beautiful woman without feeling, looking and sounding like a total fool.
The art of conversation is one of the most fundamental dating skills, and Dave Perrotta’s book shares a ton of great tips, tricks and strategies you can use to do it without getting nervous or feeling like a corny pickup artist.
What’s great about this one is that it focuses more on strategies and mindset than it does on specific topics of conversation.
It will keep you from worrying that you don’t have any interesting things to say because it shows you how to talk about a topic – any topic – in a way that can be compelling.
Promising Review:
Great book on dating, my ability to communicate with beautiful women and dating life as a whole improved exponentially after reading this.
– Benny R
The Dating Playbook For Men
A Proven 7 Step System To Go From Single To The Woman Of Your Dreams
Rating:
- 4.3 Stars on Amazon
- 1,033 Reviews
What Amazon Says:
Unlike the other dating books for men on the market, The Dating Playbook For Men is not filled complicated theory, questionable pick up artist tactics or a marketing ploy designed to sell you into an overpriced “online dating bootcamp”.
It’s a straight to the point, no b.s. guide on how to get women you want and live the life you deserve.
What We Say:
In The Dating Playbook, Andrew Ferebee takes a holistic approach to dating.
Ferebee is the founder of Knowledge for Men, a popular self-development website and podcast, and his approach to dating his similar to his approach to personal improvement.
Instead (or in some cases, in addition to) sharing specific tips about what you should say or recommending a good place to meet women, Ferebee focuses on mental models and strategies that will help you develop the kind of confidence that naturally attracts women to you.
Promising Review:
Can’t get over how much more is in this book than dating advice. It has helped me to recognize damn good behavior and healthy masculinity that leads to living life the best way possible which is at our fullest potential.
– Jamie
The Truth
Sex, Love, Commitment, and the Puzzle of the Male Mind
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 1,603
What Amazon Says:
In The Truth, Neil Strauss takes on his greatest challenge yet: Relationships. And in this wild and highly entertaining ride, he explores the questions that men and women are asking themselves every day:
Is it natural to be faithful to one person for life? Do alternatives to monogamy lead to better relationships…?
What We Say:
Another book by Strauss, The Truth is to long term relationships what The Game is to scoring first dates.
A decade after publishing The Game and becoming one of the most famous dating coaches in the world, Strauss found himself feeling somewhat trapped in a long-term relationship.
His response was to write The Truth, a revealing and honest look at how difficult relationships can be, and how challenging – but ultimately, rewarding – it is to put your own needs second, and your partner’s first.
Whereas The Game can help you in your quest to meet and attract women, The Truth helps you know whether or not you’ve found the right woman, and what to do when true love proves to be harder than you expected.
Promising Review:
I’m going to break it to everyone that hasn’t read this book yet: The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships isn’t that uncomfortable at all.
The book both highly comforting and wildly reassuring. Its message is as simple as it is beautiful: If you want to have successful relationships, fix yourself and your childhood issues first, the rest will take care of itself.
– Harry
The Art of Seduction
An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power
Rating:
- 4.7 Stars on Amazon
- 9,311 Reviews
What Amazon Says:
When raised to the level of art, seduction, an indirect and subtle form of power, has toppled empires, won elections and enslaved great minds.
Immerse yourself in the twenty-four maneuvers and strategies of the seductive process, the ritual by which a seducer gains mastery over his target.
What We Say:
Robert Greene wrote one of the favorite books of many rappers (which also happens to be one of the best audio books I’ve ever heard):
The 48 Laws of Power, a comprehensive guide to acquiring more authority and positions of strength.
He takes a similar approach in The Art of Seduction, where he breaks down dozens of factors – which he calls “maneuvers” – that you can use in your quest to influence people.
What’s particularly compelling about this one is that, while the tips can certainly help you improve your dating and sex life, they actually have a broader application.
Greene has become one of the leading voices in the art of influencing real people because the principles and strategies he highlights are fundamental.
They speak to aspects of human nature and social dynamics that extend well beyond your love life, and can be used on everyone from your colleagues and competitors to your best friends and family members.
It’s as much a book of dating essentials as it is a guide for getting people to do what you want, which is arguably one of the most important things in the modern world.
Promising Review:
I have spent more than 50,000 dollars in the pursuit of understanding psychology and sales and persuasion and Personal Development.
This book is brilliant, well written, very informative, and lays out a very powerful truth that you can use.
The Best of the Rest ↓
The books featured above constitute my personal picks for the best dating and relationship advice books on the market, but they’re far from the only options.
Below you’ll find a wide selection of books, including everything from (surprisingly mainstream) Christian relationship books to tomes about how to overcome the dreaded nice guy syndrome, all of which can help you become a better dater.
And maybe even a better man.
What Women Want In A Man
How to Become the Alpha Male Women Respect, Desire, and Want to Submit To
Rating:
- 4.4 Stars on Amazon
- 1,013 Reviews
Amazon Description:
You can learn everything you can about how to make women want you and still fail to master the inner game of being a man that naturally attracts women.
Some guys even study all kinds of seduction secrets on attracting women, yet they only end up in terrible relationships with low-quality women.
How to Text a Girl
Rating:
- 4.1 Stars on Amazon
- 283 Reviews
Amazon Description:
This easy-to-use, step-by-step guide shows you how to text a girl, what to text, and when to text it to her. If you’re tired of “spin your wheels” texting advice, buy this book. Its approach draws from 18 cutting edge scientific studies on texting…
Mate
Become the Man Women Want
Rating:
- 4.5 Stars on Amazon
- 403 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married
Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
Rating:
- 4.8 Stars on Amazon
- 2,081 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Though many young people can avoid early pregnancy and STDs, most cannot dodge the depression and feelings of isolation that characterize this modern generation.
Studies show a dramatic rise in self-reported loneliness among the young. How can a young man navigate such troubled waters?
Models
Attract Women Through Honesty
Rating:
- 4.7 Stars on Amazon
- 5,050 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Models is the first men’s dating book ever written on seduction as a purely emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them, a process of self-expression rather than…
How To Be A 3% Man
Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 1,375 Reviews
Amazon Description:
This book teaches you the hidden secrets to completely understand women.
How you can meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships! How to get women to pursue you and…
Deeper Dating
How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
Rating:
- 4.5 Stars on Amazon
- 338 Reviews
Amazon Description:
In Deeper Dating, psychotherapist Ken Page offers a new path to finding meaningful and lasting relationships.
Learn how to attract people who love you for who you really are, become more self-assured and emotionally available, and lose your taste for…
Wired for Dating
How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 355 Reviews
Amazon Description:
In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever!
So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to…
Relationship Goals
How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
Rating:
- 4.8 Stars on Amazon
- 21,621 Reviews
Amazon Description:
A candid, inspiring guide to finding lasting love and sustaining a healthy relationship by getting real about your goals—based on the viral, multi-million-view sermon series about dating, marriage, and sex
Atomic Attraction
The Psychology of Attraction
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 1,405 Reviews
Amazon Description:
If you want to be a man that 80% of women desire, this book is your key. Based on over 120 scientific studies, this book is the ultimate guide to creating and maintaining attraction with women.
Elite Dating Secrets
How The Top 1% of Men Meets, Attracts, and Dates Beautiful Women
Rating:
- 4.2 Stars on Amazon
- 76 Reviews
Amazon Description:
This is NOT Just Another Pickup Artist Book…
This is A Guide That Will Teach You How to Become an Alpha Male, So That You NATURALLY Attract Women (Without Having to Change Who You Are, Act Like A Tool or Become A Giant Douchebag)
Dating After The Red Pill
Rating:
- 4.5 Stars on Amazon
- 199 Reviews
Amazon Description:
This book will open your eyes and make you more adaptable to many situations as you play the dating game.
It will offer you the most practical knowledge and strategies on how to understand women’s actions, behaviors, needs, and wants.
Chase
The Simple Step-by-Step Formula For Making Woman Obsess Over You
Rating:
- 4.3 Stars on Amazon
- 130 Reviews
Amazon Description:
What If You Could Attract The Woman of Your Dreams Effortlessly in Less Than 27 days, NO MATTER How Unattractive or Socially Awkward You Are!
You will discover exactly how to attract the most Jaw dropping women but you must agree to this one simple condition…
Alpha Male Bible
Unlock the secrets of the Men who have everything going for them
Rating:
- 4.3 Stars on Amazon
- 736 Reviews
Amazon Description:
If you want to become the suave, assertive, and appealing Man you’ve always wanted to be, you have to be prepared to put in the work.
The qualities of an Alpha Male can be developed by anyone if he is truly dedicated to honing them.
Discover the simple yet effective ways to make you the ultimate dating expert and have the woman of your dreams.
The Man’s Guide for Online Dating Success
Learn the Secrets to Finding the Woman of Your Dreams Online
Rating:
- 4.7 Stars on Amazon
- 14 Reviews
Amazon Description:
What would you give to unlock the secrets to meet, attract, and date the women you have always dreamed of?
In this guide, you will access my proven strategy, carefully crafted through more than two decades of trial and error and then successfully executed by myself and my clients.
I help men bridge the gap between who they are today and who they want to be! The goal of this book is to truly help as many men as I can.
No More Mr. Nice Guy
A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life
Rating:
- 4.6 Stars on Amazon
- 9,608 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Dr. Robert Glover’s groundbreaking book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, has helped create a worldwide movement of men seeking to become more conscious, authentic, empowered, and successful.
If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how. Dr. Glover holds a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy and is committed to empowering men to achieve dating and relationship success. He is a recovering Nice Guy.
Dating Sucks, But You Don’t
The Modern Guy’s Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
Rating:
- 4.5 Stars on Amazon
- 300 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Rejection. Ghosting. Not knowing how to talk to women. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn’t have to. There’s a simple, yet powerful, way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend: Be authentic.
Whether you want to confidently approach women, get quality matches on dating apps, or learn how to avoid the “friend zone”, Dating Sucks, but You Don’t is your step-by-step blueprint for landing your soul mate.
Dating for Men
A Guide for Attracting Women: Practical Advice from a Female Dating Coach
Rating:
- 4.2 Stars on Amazon
- 101 Reviews
Amazon Description:
Certified dating coach Elsa Moreck draws on her years of professional experience to offer an insider view of what women are really looking for in partners.
You’ll find practical strategies to help you express your true self and flip the script on pickup artist trickery to make a real match.
More Resources ↓
More Men’s Dating Advice From Irreverent Gent:
- 9 Fundamental First Date Tips for Guys
- 101 Engaging & Insightful Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
- 5 Proven Ways to Take Awesome Profile Pics
- eharmony vs. Match – How to Choose the One That’s Right for You
- The Absolute Best Questions to Ask a Girl
- The 15 Best Porn Addiction Books to Help You Kick the Habit
Banner image via Katerina Holmes on Pexels
Hi Dave. I want to let you know that after reading this post, I took your advice in two ways: I bought “conversation casanova’ and I signed up for match. And.. it worked. I used pretty much the same photos and info on match that I was using on tinder, but I got more responses and have already been on a few dates. And the tips I got from the book made me feel more confident on the dates. So thanks for the advice and keep up the good work.
– Rob
Awesome Rob, congrats! Glad to hear you’re feeling more confident and having more luck out there. It’s crazy how effective that combination of a smarter strategy and more conversational confidence can be. Really happy for you man.