I will never forget the day I learned one of the most annoying, frustrating, jealousy-inducing – and, ultimately, empowering – lessons about style and self-presentation.
I had just started Irreverent Gent and was developing an appreciation for the finer points of style, like suit construction methods and fabric composition.
Emboldened by my newfound knowledge, I decided to splurge and drop a little over $500 on a new suit for my friend’s wedding.
It was a charcoal gray number from one of my favorite brands with peak lapels, made from fine Italian wool, double vented, full canvas and, in my opinion, absolutely stunning. I was obnoxiously incredibly proud of it, and couldn’t wait to show it off.
Until I got to the wedding.
How My $500 Suit Made Me Feel Like a $5 Chump
[image: Suitsupply]
While I was excited about wearing my new suit, and already rehearsing ways to deflect all the praise that would surely come my way (“Why, yes, it is made from Super 130 wool, thank you for noticing”), my friend Martin took a different approach.
Instead of researching suit construction for weeks and carefully considering what to buy, he bought a cheapie. He just went to H&M, tried on a couple options, and snagged one on sale for less than a hundred bucks.
It was basic, black, and reminded me of something you’d find on the clearance rack of a department store after prom season.
I’ll never forget how condescending my thoughts were when I first saw him roll up in his H&M kit.
To his face I said, “Hey buddy, you look great!” But in my head I said, “Poor guy. I guess not everyone is well studied in style.”
[image: H&M]
I figured there was no way he’d get through the night without someone pointing out how cheap it looked, and I’m ashamed to admit that a small part of me even relished the thought. But as the evening went on, the exact opposite happened.
As Martin and I tried to fruitlessly hit on chat with as many single ladies as we could identify, multiple women complimented the suit. Not my expensive suit with the meticulously chosen details—his cheap H&M suit with the ridiculously cheap price tag.
At one point during cocktail hour, I overheard one of the bridesmaids say something about Martin to her friend that literally changed my life:
“Plus, you can tell he’s in shape just by the way his suit fits,” she said.
I almost choked on my Old Fashioned. In shape?? Martin?? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Martin wasn’t in bad shape, per se. But workouts weren’t really his thing.
I was the one who used to work at a fitness magazine! And on top of that, my suit was so much better! It was double vented, full canvas, peak lapelled and handcrafted in Italy—f@¢&ing Italy! If anyone was going to turn heads and impress bridesmaids, it should be me!
But it wasn’t. And as frustrating, maddening and jealousy-inducing as that was, it was also incredibly revealing.
Because that night, I learned a lesson about style that has stayed with me for the rest of my life. It’s the first, most fundamental and essential element of self-presentation, and the single most important factor for sharp style.
Fit does more than any other factor to convey strength, virility and competence
When it Comes to Sharp Style, Fit is King
[photo: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels; illustration: Irreverent Gent]
See, there’s one thing I haven’t told you about my fancy Italian suit yet.
While it was unquestionably well-made and sported all sorts of high-quality details, it didn’t fit me all that well.
I had bought it off the rack at a fancy suit store, and the salesman highly recommended that I leave it in the store to get it tailored before taking it home.
But there was a problem: their in-store tailor was busy. It would take about a week to get the suit back, and the wedding was only three days away.
I was so excited about the prospect of rolling up in an expensive new suit that I decided to forego the tailoring, and take it as-is.
Martin’s $100 H&M suit was also off-the-rack, but it was designed to be form-fitting. He had to try on a couple sizes to get the right one, but once he found his size, the fit was very flattering.
It was slim in all the right places, and cut in a way that emphasized his shoulders and chest.
Even though Martin wasn’t really a gym guy, that bridesmaid could be forgiven for thinking he worked out, because the suit gave him a great silhouette that made him look masculine and strong.
By contrast, my ill-fitting $500 investment piece hung loose through the torso. The sleeves were too baggy, the pants were too long, and the whole thing made me look more like a kid who had borrowed his dad’s suit than a man who understood the finer points of style.
That night I learned a valuable lesson, and came up with a mantra that I still use to this day: if your clothes don’t fit, you’ll look like shit.
But you don’t just have to take my word for it—or even that bridesmaid’s, for that matter.
“I get it, fit is important. So f@¢&ing what?”
– You, just now
It’s a fair question (though I could have done without the swearing).
The notion that fit plays a big role isn’t exactly revolutionary, but failing to pay it proper attention means ignoring an evolutionary truth that underlies human interactions.
As animals, we’re inclined to judge other members of our species in terms of their fitness. When other men look at you, on some base level, they’re sizing you up.
The animalistic part of their brain that evolved thousands of years ago is assessing your physical prowess, and trying to figure out who would win in a fight—them, or you.
When women look at you, the same animalistic, base-level instincts are at play. But whereas men are assessing your ability to fight, women are assessing your virility (i.e. your strength, energy and sex drive), in addition to your ability to protect, provide and lead.
our brains evolved to make snap judgments—which is why fit is so important
The biopsychologist Nigel Barber put it more succinctly in a 1995 paper in the journal Ethology and Sociobiology, writing:
“Men’s physical appearance tends to communicate social dominance, which has the combined effects of intimidating reproductive rivals and attracting mates.”
Now, as the evolved creatures that we are, on some level our conscious brains realize that most of this information can’t actually be gleaned from a first impression, and the only way to truly ascertain it is to get to know you.
But our animal brains aren’t exactly patient. Thousands of years ago, when our brains evolved, women didn’t have time to go on a couple dates with a guy and find out if he had a steady job, a 401k, and other attributes that would make him a good provider.
Instead, our brains evolved to make snap judgments based on what little information we can glean at first glance—which brings me back to the fit of your clothes.
The Power of Fit in One Illustration
Fit does more than any other single factor to convey strength, virility and competence.
Take a look at the illustration below:
At first glance, without knowing anything else about them, which of these two guys is more likely to get a job? Or get a promotion? Or get laid?
The answer to all those questions is probably the guy in the well-cut suit on the right.
“Well sure,” you might say, “but that’s because the guy on the right is skinnier than the guy on the left.”
Look again.
I actually Photoshopped these images so that their shoulders would be the exact same size. As a result, they could very well be wearing the same suit size – say, a 40 regular with pants that are 34 inches in the waist.
But the guy on the right had his tailored to perfection, while the guy on the left made the same mistake I made at my friend’s wedding, and looks a lot less polished and put together as a result.
Fit makes a huge impact on the first impression that you make on other people, and first impressions matter a lot.
Which begs the question: what kind of fit should you go for? Well, when it comes to suits the answer is fairly straightforward, and I’ve expounded on it at length.
But when it comes to casual gear like sweaters, tees, jeans and chinos, things get a little more complicated.
I’ve written elsewhere about a proven way to find a versatile fit that’s timeless, stylish and modern-classic.
But even the best fit won’t do you much good if you make the kind of costly (and all too common) self-presentation mistakes that drag down your overall appearance.
That’s why I’ve put together a free email series that shows regular guys how to quickly improve their appearance by avoiding the biggest mistakes that undermine their looks.
Check it out if you want to avoid the most common fashion, grooming and style mistakes that most guys make—and find out what to do instead.
